Saturday, August 13, 2011

Coney Island Institute again - 1850

The Brooklyn Daily Eagle mocks the Coney Island Institute again. Though it's so outrageous I'm wondering if the institute really even existed; hmmm.

By Magnetic Telegraph,

CONEY ISLAND, Aug. 24, 1850.

Present, the Chairman of the Board and a quorum.

CONEY ISLAND INSTITUTE.--This learned association held their semi occasional anniversary, under the big tent at Coney Island, last evening, A. Don Key, Esq., President of the Association, in the chair. Mr. Muttonheyd presented a beautiful and rare specimen of Zllqzffiyghbrii, or duck-legged beetle. The specimen, after being critically examined through a glass containing a sherry cobbler, was pronounced to belong to the family of hum-bugs.

Mr. G. Ology read a paper in reference to the origin of Coney Island Clambakes, indicating great research and learning. The learned author contends that clams were originally thrown up from the centre of the earth during Volcanic eruptions, and in support of this hypothesis, adduced the well known fact that these wonderful creatures would instantly open their mouths, and exhale their gratitude in grateful odors, upon being submitted to the ordeal of fire. He further contended that the smoothe, oval shape given to clams was the result of fusion by heat, and forcible projection into the atmosphere. The stones found at the base of volcanic cones invariable assume this shape, and the larger lumps of gold found in the "wet diggins" of California have invariably a clam-my appearance.

A motion to print this document for the benefit of the members of this association was the signal for a clam-orous debate, in the midst of which a motion to adjourn was put and carried.

--Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Saturday, August 24, 1850

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