Monday, August 8, 2011

Coney Island Institute - 1850

This Day in History, the Brooklyn Daily Eagle again mercilessly mocks their potential readers, 1850. (Though I daresay they think the below gentlemen not smart enough to read their newspaper.) This goes out to anyone who imagines the 1850s were a much more genteel and respectful time.

Reported expressly for the Daily Eagle.

NATURAL PHILOSOPHY.--The " Coney Island Institute" held a special meeting on Saturday evening last. A compact, globular, vegetable ball, of a peculiar odor, was presented to the Society, by A. Tumble Bug, Esq., and referred to the Committee on Knick Knacks, with instructions to analyze the same and report to the next meeting. Adjourned.

--Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Monday, August 5, 1850

A. Tumble Bug? REALLY? No; I think it's more of the Eagle's mockeries.

(Next article censored by me)

By Magnetic Telegraph,


CONEY ISLAND, Aug. 7, 1850.

CONEY ISLAND INSTITUTE.--The proceedings of this learned body possessed unusual interest this morning.

Mr. Pickwick, jr., presented to the society a dilapidated boot-jack, said to be the identical one used by a notorious giant of antiquity, in divesting himself of his "seven-league-boots."

A. Donkey, Esq., arose for information. He wished to know the basis upon which the article in question rested for its genuineness. He trusted his learned friend came prepared to satisfy the society upon this point.

Mr. Pickwick, jr., arose, under evident excitement. Did his friend, A. Donkey. Esq., intend to insinuate that the story of the seven-league boots was a humbug ? No, sir, he dare not. Every child in the country would, incontinently, rise up and hiss him, did he dare to advance, in their presence, such a proposition. The authenticity of this fact being admitted, the objection of the honorable member fell to the ground....

--Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Monday, August 7, 1850

The men have a bit of a spat but I think you get the idea.

I can't figure out if the seven-league boots were stolen by Hop o' my Thumb (who I never would have heard of if not for the Internet).

And I think the end of the least for a few days...

CONEY ISLAND INSTITUTE.--We understand that this prosperous and popular association of savans have just received the following addition to their stock of curiosities:--

The segment of a circle described by a "Mexican Revolution.

A bunch of faggots from the river Styx.

A bucket of water from the "See of Rome."

A specimen of domestic manufactures, made from the thread of Webster's last discourse upon the tariff.

A pair of nipples from the "bosom of the ocean."

The identical "note" that Young, the poet, declined taking of "time."

A chunk of cheese made from the "Milky Whey."

Visitors to the rooms of this association are respectfully requested not to mutilate any of the above articles.

--Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Tuesday, August 8, 1850

I never thought I'd type these words, but I miss Walt Whitman. The Eagle wasn't like this when he was editor. There's using sharp words to make a point, and then there's beating a dead point into the ground. I think this is the latter.

No comments:

Post a Comment