Coney Island Institute

The Brooklyn Eagle can never abandon an opportunity to either mock the Coney Island Institute, or create a slew of horrid puns. I'm not sure which. (Also note the aside about the mail…given there were day trips from the mainland to Coney Island, I'm still not buying the times as "records.")

NOTES OF PREPARATION.--Our advices from the capital of Coney Island were received this morning, as usual, by the regular mail steamship, which sailed from thence at daylight yesterday, having performed the run up in beautiful style, in the very quick time of thirteen hours, fifty-nine minutes, and forty-seven seconds from wharf to wharf. Where's your Cunarders (sp?) now? All Coney Island answers, Nowhar ! But let that pass. We are not in a mood to triumph over a fallen foe. We spare the feelings of the British nation this time. The item of great importance by this arrival is the intelligence, which was forwarded to the steamer by "Express Extraordinary," that the Institute rooms are to be thoroughly refitted preparatory to their occupation for the season. It is understood that the opening address will be delivered by the Hon. Uriah Heep, of Brooklyn, who has chosen for his subject, "THe Buss-ness of Ele-emosynary App-eals." A grand conchert will close the exercises, and everything is expected to go off swimmingly.

--Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Thursday, March 27, 1851